Muslim World Comdemns Shaykh Siri for Moonsighting Mistake

Muslim World Condemns Shaykh Siri For Moonsighting Mistake

(This is a fake satirical article btw)

 

TORONTO- Stress levels were high as supporters of both Mufti Google and Shaykh Siri held their breaths to see which one of their shuyookh’s verdicts would be proven by the night sky. Earlier this week, Shaykh Siri and Mufti Google had already given their verdict regarding the beginning of Ramadan.

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As the moon was clearly sighted, the supporters of Mufti Google held an open rally, openly condemning the ‘False Shaykh Siri’ for his mistake.

“We have set up this rally in order to expose the vice of this false shaykh. Enough is enough!” said Ureedu al-Fuloos, the founder of the rally, “And besides, the margin on the sale of food and drinks is amazing.”

“How dare he make a mistake!” yelled another attendee, “There is no way he is a true Shaykh. It’s a known fact that Shaykhs are perfect, so he has to be fake! We have been littering internet forums, and rallying since sunset. Most supporters have even walked out on Taraweeh in order to support our noble cause.”

The supporters of Shaykh Siri are also holding a rally, denying the sighting of the moon.

“We will stand by the verdict of our Shaykh. This is clearly the doing of the illuminati trying to eradicate the truth from our eyes.”

When it was pointed to them that they could see the moon clearly from where they stood, a supporter stated, “We believe in only what our Shaykh says. We cannot verify the sighting of anyone else, not even ourselves, as no one but our Shaykh can be trusted to deliver the unadulterated truth.”

Mawlana Samsung has also commented on the issue and has held a similar opinion as Shaykh Siri.

A bystander who was comfortably spread upon a lawn chair while watching these rallies took a long comfortable sigh and said, “This is the golden industrial revolution in Islamic academia. Kind of like Web MD. Real doctors don’t know anything. It was only through Web MD that I discovered that my mild headache meant I only have two more hours to live and am here to enjoy the last few moments of my life”
Mufti Google and Shaykh Siri were not available for comment, but did go hand in hand walking down the street.

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